So tonight I went out to the gala that the graduate department was throwing. 20s themed. Neat place. But the moment I walked in, I felt very very out of place.
I am an overweight female. I do not wear makeup often. I have a very short haircut. I am what society would consider ugly.
People in my life tell me otherwise, but they are not me. They don't go through the daily crap that is society and see how much people react to you based on your appearance whem you are an ugly female.
I find that for the most part I am invisible. If I am out with Logan or a friend, anyone we encounter will speak to them, and not me. Make eye contact with them, but not me.
And when they do talk to me, it is very short, or filled with way too much politeness. But who knows, maybe I read too much into it.
I do encounter individuals that talk to me like an actual human, but those gems of a person are few and far between.
I don't know. I have never loved my body or my face. I am often filled with overwhelming self loathing. But I wish that strangers on the street didn't inforce that schema.