thedrteeth (thedrteeth) wrote,
thedrteeth
thedrteeth

Nightmares

I have been plagued by the same nightmare sporadically for over a year. Its always a situation in which I see Larry, and panick and intense fear consume me.

I am very angry that I have these dreams.
Very angry that this man has so impacted my life.

Larry raped me in October of last year.
He also took my virginity when he was in his early 40s and I was 16.

I was going to vend Bats Day again this year, but have hit with so much anxiety and fear that he will be there, that I cancelled this week.

I hate that. I hate that I am afraid to go to an event that I have loved for years. I hate that he has caused me to be so afraid.

I have identifyed as Asexual for the past year. Sex has always hurt. Always been unpleasant. But after that october, i just couldnt do it anymore. And so i have also been single since.

Just... tired feeling like he won.

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